Begin Again

It’s funny how you think you’re doing something and then you stop and look at the evidence and realize that the real story is actually quite different. A little over two months ago I posted that “I was back”. It was full of energy and excitement and hope for all the recipes I would be posting and thoughts I would be expressing. And then what happened…
In my head I have been blogging. I’ve been photographing meal after meal, I’ve been crafting recipes in my head, I’ve been telling the few dear friends who know about this blog that I was almost ready to share it with the world, and yet…. I actually posted nothing for 2 MONTHS.
One day would pass that I wouldn’t post followed by another and the I would start to think about needing to complete an older post before writing the one that was really fresh and exciting in my head. And so…. I did nothing! I knew I had lots of great stuff in my head I needed to type and put up, but I didn’t realize it had been 2 MONTHS since I had actually posted anything. I didn’t realize that until this Monday.
This Monday a number of things happened.

  • We started our summer break with no set daily plans for the kiddos.
  • This website got hacked.
  • I read Crossfit Lisbeth and it struck a chord in me.

We started our summer break from school(actually end of preschool, summer before kindergarten) and we had a new nanny start. My mind was full of ideas on how I would conquer the world with my new consistent childcare, the projects I could complete, the sites that I could optimize, the rooms that I could clean. Heck, I planned on saving the world over the course of the first six hours of child care, and then blog about it. Having new found time to work made me realize just how much work I need to get done and quickly became lost in spreadsheets and code and forgot all about my superhero plans.

After the day was over, dinner was cooked, baths were given and kiddos tucked in I got on to work on the website Monday night and realized it had been hacked by someone trying to spread the word re atrocities in the Middle East. I spent the three hours that night with my crap hosting company trying to get MY site reinstated, another hour setting up hosting with a new proven company, time spent waiting for the transfer to occur, doing the actual transfer, etc. I then decided I didn’t like the way the site looked or functioned so found a new theme that I began to customize and on it went… I almost got lost in the overwhelm again but then I pulled up one of my favorite resources, www.CrossfitLisbeth.com, for a swift kick in the pants and it gave me just what I needed.

The post for the day was titled “Begin Again” and in true Lisbeth fashion pretty much just laid it all out on the line.It read, “Every single time you fail. Begin again.” I was working on it but darn it, this blog thing was really becoming a pain in the neck Monday night. Then it read, “Nobody said it was going to be easy for you. Nobody said it was going to be rainbows and roses and (creepy) clowns. ” There are always obstacles coming our way and always reasons not to proceed but if we are honest with ourselves regarding where we want to be we know where we need to go. The reasons I told myself I hadn’t been blogging: too busy, too busy, too busy. However in reality I still really wanted to give this a shot; I was still taking pictures, I was still cooking and crafting recipes and musing on everything I needed to share but I got overwhelmed. I got overwhelmed by this whole idea of sharing my voice and my ideas and my food and MYSELF with the world. And the more I thought about it the more overwhelmed I became, and then TWO months went by when I posted nothing, always with the excuse that I was too busy.

Well, here I am beginning again, again… I am busy, we all are but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t also do some of the things that we really want to…

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